Penelope (NT No. 8)
Penelope (NT No. 8)

Idle work for idle hands

Penelope had been waiting for Ulysses for 20 years, even though he’d told her “don’t wait up for me”. However, along with Penelope were her suitors, who wanted to sit on the throne of the king and throw a royal wedding.

The longer they all waited, the more they ate and drank to the health of chump and the bigger became their appetite for the throne, until one day they approached Penelope and told her it was time for her to choose her king.

She, though, had friend-zoned them all; she didn’t want to remarry. So, in order to buy some time, she told them she would make her decision when she’d finished weaving Laertes’ shroud.

The suitors felt as if they had made it to the final of Survivor; “how long could it take her to weave a shroud”, they thought. But what they didn’t know was that every evening, Penelope would unweave the shroud and every morning she would begin again.

The bozos would still be there waiting if a servant girl hadn’t ratted her mistress out to the suitors, who immediately asked for explanations. She then told them she was going to hold an archery competition, the winner of which would have her heart