HAIR OF HELEN – One hair of Helen can draw more than Ulyssses’ ships
When Helen took off with Paris, Melenalos’ anger could not be contained and rightfully so. He woofed down 12 family-sized ice cream cartons all by himself, erased Helen from all his photos on social media, changed his status to “It’s complicated”, cursed and yelled that it was unfair. Feeling utterly insulted, he went to tell his brother Agamemnon. He’d nowhere else turn to because all his friends had blocked him in the team chats, tired of all his bitching and moaning.
Agamemnon poured him a scotch-on-the-rocks and after he’d heard the story, he swore to avenge his brother. “Don’t worry, I’ve got some people that can help us punish the Trojans”, putting his brother’s mid at ease. He sent a message to all his connections in the largest and most powerful kingdoms in Greece to ask for backup.
Aeandas of Salamina, Nestoras of Pylos, Idomeneus of Crete and Diomedes of Argos all replied “count me in”. However, both Achilles; King of the Myrmidons and Ulysses; King of Ithaca, hem and hawed.
Ulysses was a newlywed and wasn’t into leaving Penelope and baby Telemachus just to go and do Menelaos’ bidding. He also suffered from a bit of seasickness. So, he copped out by acting crazy, cultivating his fields with salt so that Palamedes would see him and spread word that he was out of his mind and there was no use taking him on the campaign.
But there’s no tricking Palamedes, who placed baby Telemachus in the line of the plough in the fields to see if Ulysses was actually off his rocker. Ulysses stopped and Palamedes realized that he was lying. Palamedes then took his ear off about taking part, and after a while, he got Ulysses to agree to go to war.
Ulysses departed, with Penelope and little Telemachus standing on the pier, waving a hankie. “Send word when you get there”, shouts Penelope while Telemachus played with his Lego boat.
